Who’s the King of Los Angeles?

Remember the concept of the King of New York? In the 90s it was a really big deal. Everybody wanted the title: Jay-Z, Biggie, even Christopher Walken. And those who didn’t want it loved to talk about it. It was one of the best conversation starters in recent memory.

Later, the idea spawned the biggest post-East Coast-West Coast rap feud, Jay-Z vs. Nas, and spilled over into sports, with Derek Jeter being the obvious choice to wear the crown.

The King of New York crown was, and in some ways still is, a cultural hallmark, but for some reason the concept never crossed coasts.

Nobody ever talks about the King of Los Angeles.

Granted, it’s the City of Angels, not the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, but L.A. is still a place where stars are made. (They’re made every day it seems, whether we like it or not.) And it is home to nearly 4 million people. Doesn’t it deserve a king too?

I say yes. And, since it’s my list, I say all of the nominees should be athletes – as much as Hollywood defines L.A., we all know sports is the true lifeblood of the city. Why else would you see Dodger blue, Laker purple and gold and USC cardinal and gold every time you walk the streets?

Here are the nominees for King of L.A., with my verdict at the end.

Andre Ethier – RF, Los Angeles Dodgers
28 years old
Resume: 5 seasons, 95 HR, 343 R, 374 RBI, .290 BA, .850 OPS, 1 All-Star appearance

There are many talented players on the Dodgers – Clayton Kershaw, Jonathan Broxton and Matt Kemp all come to mind – but the biggest cheer in Dodger Stadium is always reserved for Andre Ethier. It’s easy to see why. Not only is Ethier a sweet-swinging lefty with a canon for an arm and televnovela good looks, he’s also a Mexican-American, endearing him even more to the largely Hispanic Dodger fanbase. Remember, this is a team that dedicated an entire section of the stadium to Manny Ramirez when he arrived in 2008. Never underestimate the relevance of Latino heritage in the city of L.A.

If there’s a knock against Ethier, it’s that he has left the Dodgers high and dry in consecutive NLCS series losses to the Phillies. In 44 NLCS plate appearances, he’s hitting just .244 with a homer and three RBI. In spite of his postseason shortcomings, it’s impossible for fans not to like him. One look at his cherubic face and all is forgiven in Dodgertown.

Anze Kopitar – C, Los Angeles Kings
23 years old
Resume: 4 seasons, 113 goals, 172 assists, 9 game-winning goals, 1 All-Star appearance

Kopitar is the leader of a dynamic young Kings team that made it to the playoffs for the first time in eight years last season. Kopitar led the Kings in both goals (34) and assists (47) in 2009 and finished top 20 in the NHL in points (81, just one point behind Zach Parise). Little known fact: he’s also the first Slovenian player ever to play in the NHL.

Kopitar carries himself with about as much presence as Calista Flockhart in a buffet line, but he is the real deal on the ice. In his first NHL playoff series, he scored two goals and recorded three assists in L.A.’s 4-2 series loss to Vancouver. With him, 20-year-old defenseman Drew Doughty and 25-year-old winger Dustin Brown in their ranks, the Kings will be a contender for years to come.

Kobe Bryant – SG, Los Angeles Lakers
32 years old
Resume: 14 seasons; 25,790 points; 5,410 rebounds; 4,766 assists; 12 AS app; 1 MVP; 2 Finals MVPs; 5 championships; 2008 Olympic gold medal

What can you say about Kobe Bryant that hasn’t already been said by legions of car flagging, mouth-frothing, MVP-chanting Lakers fans? 14 seasons into his career, he’s a Laker legend, an unmatched competitor and one of the most reliable late-game performers the league has ever seen. He’s so good it’s scary. He’ll rip your heart out, then smile for the cameras after he’s done.

When teamed with Shaquille O’Neal in the early 2000s, Kobe was a force of nature who was forced to bend to the whims of his elders. The duo combined for three championships, but you could tell Kobe was never really happy. Now he’s the elder, capturing two straight NBA titles and setting his sights on Michael Jordan’s once-ironclad legacy, and he’s never been happier. Sure, he’s had more rough patches than Robert Downey Jr. in the 90s, but Lakers fans always seem to forgive him. He’s one of the most revered athletes in the history of L.A. sports.

Matt Barkley – QB, University of Southern California
20 years old
Resume: 2 seasons; 2,992 passing yards; 20 TD; 14 INT; 60.5% completion; 1 bowl victory

As a true freshman last season, Barkley beat out Aaron Corp and Mitch Mustain for the starting quarterback job (making him the first true freshman ever to start a Trojans opener). He went on to throw for over 2,700 yards and 15 touchdowns, lead USC to an Emerald Bowl victory over Boston College, and win the hearts of thousands of screaming teenage girls.

This season, Barkley is again the starter for Southern California’s most high profile football team (sorry, Chargers fans), and he’s off to a great start. In spite of numerous offseason distractions (chief among them the NCAA sanctions), he threw for 257 yards and a record-tying five touchdown passes last week in a 49-36 win over Hawai’i. The Trojans are ineligible for the postseason this year, but L.A. is still expecting great things from its baby-faced assassin.

Torii Hunter – CF, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
35 years old
Resume: 3 seasons, 64 HR, 229 R, 242 RBI, .289 BA, .850 OPS, 2 AS app, 2 Golden Gloves

When the Angels signed Hunter to a five-year, $90 million in 2007, it was a move met with shaking heads and condescending smiles. You’re going to pay that guy $90 million? Good luck keeping him motivated. But three years later, Hunter is one of the most productive Angels on the field and one of L.A.’s (make that Anaheim’s) most gregarious athletes off it. You’d be hard pressed to find a more well-liked player among fans and sportswriters than Torii Hunter.

Not only has Hunter made two straight All-Star appearances and picked up consecutive Gold Gloves, this season marks his third straight with over 20 home runs, 70 runs and 70 RBIs. And he brings it in the postseason as well; career playoff averages: .305 BA, .370 OBP, .858 OPS. Not bad for a guy everybody thought would be a Christina Hendricks-sized bust.

Final Verdict: Kobe Bryant

If you didn’t see this one coming, you need to visit LensCrafters immediately. This was the most obvious ruling since the Phil Spector murder trial. There are few athletes in the world who are as famous as Kobe, let alone in Los Angeles.

It’s not that Andre Ethier, Anze Kopitar, Matt Barkley and Torii Hunter aren’t good at what they do. They are, and their respective fanbases love them for it. But Kobe is great (make that legendary), and his fans don’t just love him, they adore him to the point of lunacy – even this horrendous photoshoot couldn’t derail him. There’s no bridge they won’t cross for him, no chant they won’t scream.

Kobe is to L.A. what Derek Jeter is to New York, Michael Jordan was to Chicago and Larry Bird was to Boston. (Sorry, Lakers fans, you had to know I was going to slip a Celtics reference in there somewhere.) He’s not a cult figure. He’s larger than life. And soon after he retires, he’ll have the statue outside the arena to prove it.

If any man deserves to be King of L.A., it’s Kobe Bryant.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Christopher Walken movie to watch.

Patrick Crawley is the sports editor for Neon Tommy and the managing editor of Basketball Fiend.