Michael Jackson’s sudden death on June 25th has inspired a flood of YouTube tributes to the begloved one. Seemingly everyone with Garageband and a webcam has posted an MJ cover or rapped over a break from one of his many classic cuts. But out of all the musical eulogies dedicated to the King of Pop, perhaps none have been as hilariously bizarre as the jewel dropped by new Laker Ron Artest. On “Michael Michael“, which could be best described as an emo-rap ballad, Artest once again proves that he’s the funniest unintentionally funny person in sports. Despite the off-key singing and suspect-at-best flow, the haunting hook is somewhat catchy.
So “Michael Michael” got me thinking: what other comically bad music has been birthed from that dangerous being known as athlete-turned-music artist? Here is a list of the notable releases by athletes in the hip hop era:
Deion Sanders: “Must Be the Money”
Part New Jack Swing, part hip-hop, Primetime sort of sings, sort of mumbles his way through this song that dates back to the days when Hammer was his wingman. Look at those waves!
Kobe Bryant: “K.O.B.E.”
After winning the chip this year, pundits marveled at the transformation of Mr. Bryant into a team-first winner. This cringe-inducing excuse for hip hop (with Tyra Banks on the hook no less!) is proof that KB24 has indeed come a long way. Oddly, Kobe channels his inner, blunt-free DMX here.
Allen Iverson: “40 Bar Freestyle”
“Practice! Practice!” When real MCs were actually practicing their craft, A.I. was just talking about it.
Shaquille O’ Neal: “Shoot Pass Slam”
The album this track is from, Shaq Diesel, went platinum and “Shoot Pass Slam” is one of its most memorable singles. Shaq is by-far-and-away the most successful athlete/MC, critically and commercially. Not that that’s saying a whole lot. “Do you want me to shoot it? No! Do you want me to pass it? No! Do you want me to slam? Yeah! Get out the way, get out the way, get out the way now…”
Ron Artest: “Michael Michael”
Ron-Ron loved Mike Jack so much that he’s donning the number 37, in recognition for the amount of weeks Thriller held the number one Billboard spot. This track couldn’t have taken that long to put together, but rocking a Jackson-inspired number for at least a full season shows some serious devotion to the recently departed legend.
