Welcome to The Sports Snob, a column that gives commentary on the sports world with an elitist slant that can only come from ravenously watching it your whole life. Be warned, this isn’t a place for fair-weather or ignorant sports followers, unless they want to convert over to the real fan side.
For the introductory post I want to talk about Los Angeles Lakers fans or as many of them deserved to be called – homers, frontrunners, bandwagoners, groupies, etc.
Before any legitimate Lakers followers get all upset, relax. If you’re not a groupie this isn’t directed at you.
This is aimed as the illogical, vastly uninformed group of part-time fans who incessantly inject themselves into basketball talk during the playoffs proclaiming nonsense like “OMG we won a game, we’re the best ever!” in between rushing to buy “trendy” car flags.
I’ve also got my bulls-eye set on the comical cult of Kobe Bryant members that think he’s better than Magic Johnson or Michael Jordan. It’s hard to tell whether they actually support the organization itself or if they think Kobe came down from the heavens and created the Lakers in 1996.
As a lifelong NBA fan that religiously follows the season from the pre-season until the final buzzer of the championship, I hate reading and hearing these people. It’s a disgusting stew of vomit-inducing hyperbole mixed with an utter lack of knowledge about historical context.
For instance, take the tired storyline asking if Kobe is the greatest Laker or even worst, greatest player ever. The subject has elicited responses from legends like Jerry West to hacks like Rick Reilly.
Look, Kobe is definitely one of the top 10 NBA players ever and he’s top five in Lakers history. But people need to relax with all this nonsense about him being the best Laker when his resume still doesn’t stack up to Magic and has glaring, undeniable blemishes. With a franchise as historic as the Lakers, it’s about a lot more than just titles.
Kobe and the Lakers blew a double-digit homecourt lead in the NBA Finals, leading to his 2nd straight Finals loss.(Getty Images/ESPN.com)
Kobe revisionists are going to hate this, but oh well. In the prime of his career Kobe not only failed to carry teams to titles but openly displayed a selfishness and ego that cost him and his team playoffs wins and rings.
Like the 2004 season where he denied Phil Jackson, Shaquille O’Neal, Karl Malone and Gary Payton some hardware after he got tired of being Robin to Shaq’s Batman and flushed their title hopes away with his 38 percent shooting and 23 shots per game. After that series Phil Jackson famously called Kobe “uncoachable” and Shaq was traded.
That led to missing the playoffs with a losing record and then losing two straight series, including a historical choke against the Phoenix Suns where he blew a 3-1 series lead and gave up in the crucial game seven.
When did you ever see Jordan or Magic just flat out quit? In Kobe’s world it’s all about him, and if it doesn’t serve his interests he’ll cut and run, teammates or fans be damned.
Kobe lost a 3-1 lead and was eliminated against the Phoenix Suns in 2006. He infamously took only 3 shots in the 2nd half of the crucial game 7 loss.(Getty Images/YouBeenBlinded Illustration)
Then there was yet another first round exit leading to Mr.Laker demanding a trade, publicly berating Andrew Bynum and team management. If it weren’t for Chris Wallace and Jerry West giving away Pau Gasol, Kobe’s true colors would still be showing.
And as much as his fans try to use statistics as an argument, even those don’t match up to the sheer greatness of the two M.J’s.
Magic Johnson won five NBA championships, three regular season MVPs, an Olympic gold medal, NCAA title and three NBA Finals MVP trophies, including one his rookie year.
Jordan collected six NBA championships, five regular season MVPs, an Olympic gold medal, NCAA title, six NBA Finals MVP trophies, 10 scoring titles, has the highest career scoring average, rookie of the year and defensive player of the year.
Kobe has four championships, one regular season and one Finals MVP, an Olympic gold medal and two scoring titles.
Kobe apologists love to pretend all of the above never occurred, but it did.
It also amazes me when I see these fans badmouth Magic every time he criticizes the team. The fact that random nobodies sitting at home think they have more of a right to speak on the Lakers than Magic freaking Johnson says a lot about how dumb they really are.
Can this team win a championship? Obviously yes, and they probably will. But there’s more to a franchise as storied as the Lakers than simply just stacking rings. There’s the honor, legacies and stories of how those rings were won. The rings alone are nothing without the battles fought to earn them, and nobody knows that better than a guy like Magic.
Kobe recently said he “wasn’t a fan of Jordan.” Really? We don’t believe you, you need more people. Word to Jay-Z.(Photo by Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE/Getty Images)
There used to be a time when only Kobe believed the nonsense he crafts about him being a great teammate and leader, about being a victim in the rape case and about being anywhere near Jordan when it comes to a winning pedigree or accomplishments. These days, thanks to moronic fans, he had the audacity to get on ABC during halftime of the Finals and say he wasn’t really a Jordan fan.
Coming from a guy who clearly idolized Jordan and has desperately mimicked him, it was incredibly unbelievable. The sad part is his fans actually tried to rationalize it as true.
It’s no shock though, because they are Laker fans. The same people who get excited about free $1 tacos during the NBA Finals or actually say stuff like this on Twitter after a pedestrian dunk from Kobe in game one;
“Omfggggg did y’all see that alleeey ooop kobe officailly gots my respect best player in the nba.” (Actual tweet)
There’s a reason why 98 percent of the people who say he’s the best are Lakers fans from this generation. Some of them might even be reading this and agree with that tweet or laugh at all this extra stuff about how rings are won. In their minds the only thing that counts is the number of rings and whether they win this year.
All I can say is, I’m not surprised.
It just helps prove why I’m a better sports fan than them.
- Will.
The Sports Snob will be published once a week here on YouBeenBlinded.com. Will R. is a journalist/writer who covers sports, news and music for several websites. His music work can be found on www.WestCoastRydaz.com
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