If you’re using my picks for anything other than entertainment purposes you’re a moron. You’d be better off having your girlfriend or dog or dog girlfriend if you’re the Steve Phillips type making the picks for you. I went 5-6-1 last week and picked beauties like Tampa Bay, Cleveland, and Oakland. They lost by a combined 104-10. I should barely be allowed to pick my own clothes let alone pick football games.

Even though I don’t know what I’m talking about I’ve still managed to go 50-44-1. I’m predicting my record will improve by at least two games this week. Yeah. Bet on it.

I don’t get pick sides in games involving the Philadelphia Eagles. My winners are in bold type.

Denver Broncos +3 at Baltimore Ravens

Cleveland Browns +13 at Chicago Bears

Houston Texans -3.5 at Buffalo Bills

Minnesota Vikings +3 at Green Bay Packers

San Francisco 49ers +13 at Indianapolis Colts

Miami Dolphins +3.5 at New York Jets

St. Louis Rams +4 at Detroit Lions

Seattle Seahawks +9.5 at Dallas Cowboys

Oakland Raiders +16.5 at San Diego Chargers

Jacksonville Jaguars +3 at Tennessee Titans

Carolina Panthers +10 at Arizona Cardinals

Atlanta Falcons +10 at New Orleans Saints

The Drunk Handicapper seems a little more drunk this week. Must have something to do with Halloween.