Jay-Z drops the third installment of his Blueprint series with the title implying a return to the perfect balancing of street and commercial appeal he displayed on The Blueprint. What Jigga delivers are some flashes of the old Jay and some of the Kingdom Come Jay that began the “Jay-Z fell off” movement.
It’s a 50-50 album. Half the tracks give us what we want, and the other half are doomed by poor beats, and/or questionable flow. The thing is, Jay-Z’s an older cat playing a young man’s game. In that respect he reps himself well as the Hip Hop version of The Rolling Stones. Jay will probably be releasing albums and touring until he’s 60.. In other words, another five years.
I’m not going 15 rounds with the CD and breaking it down song by song. You can get those reviews here, here, and here. I’m placing each song in the context of professional sports today.
1. “What We Talkin’ About” (ft. Luke Steele of Empire of the Sun)
We talkin’ about Practice. Allen Iverson will be bumping this on the bench in Memphis, and then on the bench of the team that the Grizzlies trade him to. I’m an AI guy and it sucks to watch his career go this way. He’s probably never going to win a championship and he’ll be remembered as a ball-hogging malcontent instead of the best little man in NBA history.
2. “Thank You”
David Beckham, Mike Dunleavy, and Tyler Perry will hum “Thank You” every time they deposit their paychecks. Beckham and Dunleavy are straight up stealing money. Perry is running an intricate scam that involves him dressing up like a woman, and he’s rumored to be blackmailing TBS executives with compromising photos. Unfortunately for Becks, Dumbleavy, and TP, none of use are thankful for their performances.
3. “D.O.A.” (Death of Autotunes)
Twitter is the Autotunes of sports, and even though KRS-One and Jay-Z (Roger Goodell and David Stern) wish it would go away, it’s what the youngins want and it’s not going anywhere. I expect Jay-Z to have D.O.K.S.O.M.L. (Death of Kids Standing on my Lawn) on The Blueprint 4.
4. “Run this Town” (ft. Rihanna & Kanye West)
I’m not sure if Tim Tebow’s religious leanings allow him to listen to Jay-Z but he not only runs Gainesville, he runs Florida. And all the stories you hear about how great he is in person are true. I’ve interviewed Tebow twice, and I don’t want to sound like Thom Brenneman, but he is an impressive young man. Pause.
5. “Empire State of Mind” (ft. Alicia Keys)
The Yankees are in an empire state of mind right now. The new stadium and their lineup have them scoring a ton of runs, CC is pitching like they’re paying him $161 million over seven years, Jeter’s setting all-time marks, and they have the best record in baseball. The Yanks look like they’re gonna roll to their 27th World Series title and put the Empire back in effect. Baseball is more fun when there’s a legit reason to hate the Yankees.
6. “Real as it Gets” (ft. Young Jeezy)
Real as it gets is the only way to define Ron Artest. There won’t be anything better this NBA season than watching “The Ron Artest Show” in LA. Kobe has a best shot at keeping Ron-Ron in check, but nobody can really stop Ron from doing his thing(s).
7. “On to the Next One” (ft. Swizz Beatz)
Jay-Z’s tribute to the new NFL trend of firing the offensive coordinator just before the season starts. Kansas City, Tampa Bay, and Buffalo all dumped their coordinators which can either be a reaction to the economy, or simply some terrible hirings by coaches already facing long seasons. If I was an OC in the league I’d be making sure my Careerbuilder.com page was up to date.
8. “Off That” (ft. Drake)
“Off That” is Hov’s way of saying he’s past doing all the lame stuff that us non-multi-millionaires are still doing. He needs to hop on his G5 to Los Angeles and perform this song at Dodger Stadium where “The wave” has made a comeback. Wavemania picked up again when FC Barcelona played at the Rose Bowl in August and now LA’s rockin the wave like it’s the 80s. Knock it off people. This is SoCal, not Cleveland.
9. “A Star is Born” (ft. J. Cole)
Joe Mauer, Matt Ryan, and Kevin Durant are three young athletes that seem destined to be superstars. Mauer’s been on the scene but playing in Minnesota doesn’t give him the kind of exposure a catcher batting .363 with 26 jacks and 82 RBIs deserves. Matt Ryan led the Falcons, with a lot of help from Michael Turner, and looked like a vet a lot of times last season. Matt Ryan’s headed for big things even if he takes a small step backwards this season. Kevin Durant is about to have his “Neo” moment, when he realizes he’s the one, in the 2009-10 season. His upside is unlimited causing some basketball folks to say KD will be better than LeBron James. It doesn’t seem likely, but being spoken about in the same breath as King James shows Durant is legit. He won’t enter superduperstar status until he leaves Oklahoma City.
10. “Venus vs. Mars”
Jay’s version of opposites attracting with the relationship eventually ending in ruin. This is the perfect jam for the 6-4, 272-pound Shawne Merriman to listen to while reflecting on his tumultous weekend with the 4-11, 98-pound Tila Tequila. My favorite part of this drama is Tila Tequila saying she doesn’t drink. Johnny Walker, Jack Daniels, and Jose Cuervo call bullshit.
11. “Already Home” (ft. Kid Cudi)
When LeBron James isn’t listening to Barry Manilow he’ll probably be playing track 11 from BP3. Jay raps:
“Nigga i been missing, nigga i been gone
The shit that you just witnessed is the shit that i been on
And as for the critics, tell me i don’t get it
Everybody can tell you how to do it, they never did it”
While Kid Cudi sings on the chorus:
Oh they want me to fall (Fall)
Fall from the top (Top)
They want me to drop (Drop)
They want me to stop (Stop)
They want me to go (Go)
I’m already gone (Already)
The sh-t that I’m on (Hey)
I’m already home
(Hey, I’m already home yeah)
I’d bet all the money upstairs in my mom’s purse that LeBron already knows where he’s signing next season. That’s why he’s already home.
12. “Hate” (ft. Kanye West)
I can picture Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick sitting side-by-side, sharing iPod earbuds, and listening to “Hate”. McNabb takes his share from the haters for reasons that are out of his control. Rush Limbaugh spouts off, TO acts like a jackass, or coach Reid pulls D-Mac and it’s number 5’s fault for some reason. Vick gets the hate because of his role in the dogfighting ring. Whether it’s from the fans, or media, Vick and McNabb better be ready for a long season.
13. “Reminder”
We allow Hova to re-reintroduce himself on this one. He feels the need to let us know he’s still a factor in the game like Ladainian Tomlinson did a few weeks ago with the LA Times’ Sam Farmer. Nothing takes the shine off of greatness like begging for people to recognize you does. LT can remind us of his past by putting together a better season than last year’s 1,100 yard effort.
14. “So Ambitious” (ft. Pharrell)
The next time Vince Young needs some alone time that sends his friends and family into a panic he’ll be driving around bumping this joint. The critics are saying VY will never make it which he should use as motivation. Vince broke the hearts of fans in Philly, D.C., Oakland, Jacksonville, and Tampa Bay when he said he’ll be the next black quarterback to win the Super Bowl. Ambitious indeed considering he can’t get on the field.
15. “Young Forever” (ft. Mr. Hudson)
The undeniable worst track on the album. “Young Forever” is to The Blueprint 3 what the Oakland Raiders are to the sports world over the last six years. Garbage, a complete embarrassment, and not worthy of these 53 words I’m using. Tom Cable should punch Mr. Hudson and Kanye West in the face.
