I’m no dope, I’ve got Adderall

While professional athletes ditching gold digging trophy wives is no novel concept, the recent divorce proceedings of Kansas City Royals catcher Jason Kendall and his estranged wife Chantel have remained frequent fodder for internet gossip sites like TMZ and RadarOnline and even recently made the jump to websites not concerned with the latest atrocious parenting of Jon and Kate Gosselin. While this could have something to do with steamy particulars involving the love triangle of a pro athlete, a smokin’ hot babe and the son of a rock-n-roll legend (Chantel is currently dating Sean Stewart, son of Rod Stewart), the focus of the tittle-tattle so far has been Chantel accusing her husband of abusing the drug Adderall, which subsequently led to him both physically and emotionally abusing her.

Adderall, a combination of amphetamine salts, is classified as a Schedule II (significant abuse and addiction potential) stimulant and is primarily prescribed for treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Adderall increases focus, energy, reaction time and motor skills, and not coincidentally has skyrocketed in documented use by MLB players under the league’s “therapeutic use exemption” policy since the banning of amphetamines, or “greenies”, in 2005. Now the use of uppers is neither new nor surprising in the baseball world, going back as far as the days of Willie Mays players have been using some form or another to endure the grueling demands of the 162-game season. While steroids, and their perceived artificial augmentation of baseball’s favorite play, the yardball, have received most of the mainstream media coverage, anyone who really knows two shits about baseball recognizes that “greenies” have always been a much more pervasive part of the game. Clubhouses used to even spike the team’s coffee with the “pick me ups.”

But the interest in Kendall’s case, aside from accusations that he pissed and shit on a pile of Chantel’s clothes after finding out she had been cheating on him, is the argument that he possibly received a spurious prescription to take what is now labeled a performance enhancing drug otherwise banned by Major League Baseball. While Kendall refused to answer the judge’s question about his use of greenies under the argument that (I shit you not) Mark McGwire didn’t have to answer the questions he was asked in court about PEDs, he was very forthcoming about his prescription drug habits and has since implicated former teammates Brian Giles and Bobby Crosby as fellow Adderall appreciators in court depositions. But they are not alone. In 2006, the first season the amphetamine ban went into effect, there were 28 players granted therapeutic use exemptions for ADD. The following season 103 players had “legitimate” doctor’s notes to take Adderall. And I say good for them.

You can call me a cynic, but if you try to tell me about PEDs ruining the purity of the American pastime I’m calling you a dumbass. As soon as people started playing baseball professionally in stadiums with team names stitched on their jerseys the primary function ceased being the “love of the game” and became generating income. Now I’m not saying that some baseball players don’t love what they do, I hope they all do because the other 99.99% of the population is tremendously jealous of their livelihoods. But the Yankees aren’t America’s team because the Boss wants to put smiles on A-Rod and Jeter’s faces, it’s because he has sold the shit out of that team and turned them into a billion dollar empire. Anyone who disagrees that the primary objective of Major League Baseball and every single one of its shareholders, employees, and associates is making money, I ask you to think back to the 1994 strike, the eighth work stoppage in baseball history and the first time a professional sport lost an entire postseason due to a labor dispute. As upsetting as this may be for some fans, it has become very rewarding for the franchises and players themselves.

It is our natural inclination as human beings to increase our probability of being rewarded. It feels good getting a pat on the back or a $252 million paycheck for a job well done, and we all want that warm fuzziness to last. In every walk of life this has led to certain folk looking for any possible way to up those odds, whether it is considered “fair” or not. As long as societal markets have existed some salesmen have been trying to rip others off and as long as teachers have been giving tests some students have been trying to cheat on them. Why should we expect professional baseball to be any different? Generally, if someone finds a loophole in the system to exploit to his own personal advantage he is commended as being savvy. Again I ask, why should we expect professional baseball to be any different?

The opinions on the use of Adderall in MLB seem to be divided based on the perceived legitimacy of a player’s diagnosis and consequent pharmaceutical regimen. Most appear as equally quick to call out someone deemed “unfit” for taking drugs as they are to defend a person with “justifiable” medical concerns. But these are both incredibly subjective terms. What is even considered a performance enhancing drug, anyway? Does a player who chooses to drink coffee have an “unfair” advantage over one who does not and therefore plays sluggish? How about taking Tylenol or Cortisone shots for a sore knee? These are all undoubtedly drugs and they are definitely all performance enhancing. But for one reason or another, these chemicals have been dubbed “acceptable” for players to use with no special considerations necessary.

It’s ok because it’s not against the rules. And neither is taking stimulants as designated through MLB’s therapeutic-use exemption. It doesn’t matter whether a player’s diagnosis is completely bogus or not. Yes these players may have an iniquitous advantage, but that advantage is clearly outlined in the rulebook and available to anyone willing to jump through the league’s hoops. So it doesn’t matter whether you’re Jason Kendall trying to hang on to what’s left of your dying career while your wife is out banging some rock star’s kid or you’re Boston’s Nick Green, who says he has ADD “forever” and began taking prescribed Adderall before greenies were prohibited and it became the next best alternative. Both are doing what they have to to stay on top of the competition, and it’s not cheating if you can’t get caught.