Take-Two, the company that produces Grand Theft Auto, has turned down a $2 billion dollar takeover bid from Electronic Arts. This doesn’t mean the deal is dead. In fact, it could take place April 30th, the day after GTA IV is released.. The two companies have differing opinions on the bid; Take-Two thinks it’s too low, and of course EA thinks it’s more than fair.

I don’t care what the two sides have to do, but this deal must get done. If you care about your health though, head to The combination of Take-Two Interactive Software Inc. and Electronic Arts Inc. could lead to the greatest video game in the history of video games.. Grand Theft Auto: John Madden.

Imagine a game with the GTA crime theme and an NFL storyline. Sorta like Playmakers for Playstation. There are endless directions to take this idea…

The game always starts easy so the first mission would be something simple.. Like using the Madden Cruiser to run over Joe Buck. After that, it’s on.

  • Nashville: Take down the notorious Pacman crew that has been terrorizing local strip clubs. Score extra cash by letting the leader make it rain before you take him out.
  • Dallas: Use any means necessary to keep the paparazzi away from Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. You can earn bonus points for rushing Terrell Owens to the hospital before he starts crying.
  • Miami: Kidnap Ricky Williams from a yoga studio and get him to Dolphins’ practice before he retires or gets high.
  • New England: Escort Matt Walsh from his hotel to the Federal building without Bill Belichick videotaping you or eliminating Walsh.
  • Atlanta: Stomp out the Bad Newz dogfighting ring, but watch out for the killer pitbulls. This task is easy if you catch one of the low level guys that is likely to snitch on his boss.
  • Cincinnati: One of the hardest levels in the game. You gotta keep every member of the Bengals outta jail for 48 hours.
  • Las Vegas: A final showdown in a hotel room with O.J. Simpson. You’ll have to fight Jerry Porter and Levi Jones before you get up to the Juice’s room. Once you’re there, he’s pretty much impossible to put away. I suggest using a white woman to distract him before you make your move.

Who’s not buying this game? Nobody. EA, email me so we can straighten out my royalties.
Take-Two: EA Bid Wrong Price, Wrong Time. Courtesy of The Associated Press