Tony Romo=Snoop Dogg. Courtesy of Awful Announcing

The Super Heroine Series ends with Bat Girl. Courtesy of Dallas Penn

They’re still piling on Michael Vick. Courtesy of The Starting Five

The Knicks don’t plan on buying out Marbury. Courtesy of Hoops Hype

Stephen Jackson, Jessica Alba, and Snickers. Courtesy of Golden State of Mind

The Boston Celtics lose their first game of the season. Courtesy of Sox & Dawgs

Troy Aikman likes Clinton Portis. Courtesy of Deadspin

Atlanta Hawks Adidas Superstar. Courtesy of Sportie LA

Twins do the best the can for Johan Santana. Courtesy of Babes Love Baseball

Tags: Sports, Baseball, Football, Basketball, Clinton Portis, Borat, Tony Romo, Snoop Dogg

Jay-Z/Michael Jordan: Jay donned himself the MJ of rap and everybody rolled with it. Both are considered by many to be the greatest to ever do it in their fields.. although Jay and MJ came out of retirement with performances that made us wish they had stayed away. Whether its Tupac/Biggie/Rakim or Magic/Bird/Wilt, somebody will use one of those names in an argument against Sean Carter or Michael Jordan. They’re similar all the way down to their work ethic and figure head positions.

Dr. Dre/Phil Jackson: If you’re having a problem getting your project or your team to the next level these are the guys you want to call. Phil Jax has the rings, Dre has the plaques. Lately, neither has shown a sense of urgency about current projects, and will let cats sit on the bench for no given reason.

 Eminem/Larry Bird: White guys that dominated the “Brothas Game”. If Bird was a teenager today he’d be listening to Em’s “Lose Yourself” on his mp3 player while warming up before some AAU tournament.. Their forays into the front office have brought mixed results. Both lost a close teammate recently.

Young Buck/Stephen Jackson: Neither are superstars but they’re valuable parts on a team.. Opponents get nervous just thinking about ‘em. They will both have your back in a scrap no questions asked, and both show glimpses of greatness that they can’t reach consistently.

Ice Cube/Doctor J: They took an element of their fields and raised it to new heights.. Gangsta rap and the dunk contest are boring now, but their contributions will always be remembered. They get mentioned in top ten lists and occasionally somebody will call them the greatest ever. Does a parallel between the ABA and the late 80s West Coast rap scene work?

Dame Dash/Isiah Thomas: They were critical parts of great teams in the past. Their independent ventures are unsuccessful whether it’s a league or a record label.. Both would get 85 cents back on change for a dollar, but somehow always land on their feet.

50 Cent/Kobe Bryant: Kobe’s balling skills are 100 times better than 50’s rapping skills, but that’s not the comparison I’m making. They’re the two most polarizing people in their professions. Hate ‘em or Love ‘em you can’t deny Kobe’s hoop game or 50’s business game. You never have to wait long to hear their names in the news, and they both go for 50 every night.

Here’s a few outside of the NBA…

Ras Kass/Ken Griffey Jr: Two dudes that seemed like mortal locks to be in the greatest of all time argument. Both are still decent but neither was able to maximize their potential. You have to worry if they’ll get hurt or hurt themselves when they walk outside.

DMX/Mike Tyson: Drugs, jail and wildin out. Check, check and check. Both exploded onto the scene. Both imploded when they reached the top and eventually went to Arizona to chill out. You shouldn’t let either of the two borrow your car.

LL Cool J/Brett Favre: Their contributions to the game have to be recognized but LL and Brett are currently over staying their welcome. Aside from padding their numbers, neither has any business performing anymore.

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Congrats to the Utah Jazz for moving on to the Western conference finals. The Jazz closed their series against Golden State with a 100-87 game five victory. Utah already defeated my Secret team, and now they’ve taken down Cinderella. These are my Utah Jazz highlights from the series:

•  Derek Fisher showing incredible fortitude and heart after everything he’s been through.
• Carlos Boozer opening the eyes of the people that didn’t know about him. He was serving people for the second straight series. 
• Jerry Sloan getting Utah to the Conference finals again. He’s never been coach of the year?!?!
• Deron Williams playing like a vet. Game 5 notwithstanding.
• Mehmet Okur, Paul Millsap, Matt Harpring, and Gordon Giricek playing their roles well.
• Andrei Kirilenko leaving his tears in the first round and causing havoc for Golden State’s offense.

I don’t know anybody that’s not impressed with Utah. When the Jazz got out to the hot start at the beginning of the season, a lot of people didn’t believe they were for real. I was one of those people. The lack of playoff experience from key players had me thinking Utah would flame out in the playoffs regardless of their record. I admit it… I was wrong. Another thing I was wrong about is Utah’s style of play. I didn’t get to see them too much this season so I assumed they were a slow it down, grind it out type of team. They can play that way, but they just proved in the G. State series that they can run up and down the court too.

As far as Golden State is concerned, what can I say? They pulled off the great upset in round 1, but seemed to be out of gas and definitely over matched in round 2. Baron Davis put the league on notice for next season, and Stephen Jackson proved that the Kings have to trade Artest just to put some miles between Jackson and Ron-Ron. The unfortunate thing is, G. State was in game 5 until they started acting like the 3 point line was an alligator infested moat protected by a 12 foot, 100,000 watt electric fence. I couldn’t believe how the Warriors would stop at the line and jack a three whether they were on a fast break or 1 second into the shot clock. The Warriors need to grow up too. All of the complaining, technical fouls, and cheap shots really put G. State’s nice postseason story in an ugly light.

So again, congrats to the Utah Jazz. The winner of the Suns/Spurs series is going to have it’s hands full in the conference finals.

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Wow.. What a series!!?! I didn’t want it to end.. Especially since I famously picked the Dallas Mavericks in 6 games.. More on the Mavs in a sec but right now it’s all about the Bay Area and the Oakland Golden State Warriors. When the series started I didn’t think the Warriors could win, but by game 2 it was pretty clear this was at the minimum an evenly matched series. As it turns out, the better team won. Styles make fights, and apparently the Mavs forgot what happens when you style on somebody.

Back when Golden State traded Troy Murphy and MDJr. to Indiana for Al Harrington and Stephen “Bishop” Jackson everybody thought Golden State got the better of the deal… And they did. Al Harrington is a talented player even though he was a no show in this series and SJ is a cold hearted assassin that will ride for his boys. I know this series had to be tough for Murphy and Dunleavy to watch. How do I know? Look at Dunleavy watching the game last night.. Nothing says “Damnit, why did they have to trade me!?!?” like sitting around in your drawz and sneakers, drinking a bottle of Napa’s finest.

I’m gonna let you, yes YOU, into my world for a sec… I’m watching CNN to see if Oakland has burned down yet.. Not because the Warriors just beat Dallas, but because it’s what’s known in the O as Thursday night… Now trust, I love the Land.. I useta stay near the bay, in “The Fielts” or “SquareField” to be exact. Going to Oakland, to the Eastmont Mall among other places, was always the biz. You could pick up a tight bomber jacket, get a money hat, or hopefully, meet some breezies (no Don Imus). On the way home a stop in Berkeley to hit Leopold’s Records was a must. Leopold’s and that hot dog stand that was next to it.. Damn.. The good ole days.. I miss the days of  lyin to my dad (I’m going to C’s house) to use the car and then hittin Oakland. Of course, I wasn’t thinking about an odometer at the age of 16 and I didn’t have an answer for “How the fuck did you put over 100 miles on the car going to Goddamn Vacaville!!!!?” My answer… ”Traffic?” Gimme a break I was 16…

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled blogram…Ay yo Avery, you can go ahead and pull your pants up now. Don Nelson went drunk, just got fired, abusive dad on AJ this whole series. Just because you’re mad at mom (Mark Cuban) doesn’t mean you have to take it out on the kids. The defensive scheme on Dirk and the 10k bonus motivational tactics he used on his team were perfect. He was able to coach around Jackson’s volatility, Biedrins lack of free throw shooting, Al Harrington’s absence, and Avery’s one and only game plan. I’m not an NBA head coach, but I play one on the internet. Where were the adjustments from Dallas? Going small in game one? Yeah that was great. Remember last year’s playoffs when Avery pushed all of the right buttons? This year he looked like he spent the summer reading “How to lose a series in 6 games or less”.. He obviously bought the workbook and went to a couple of the seminars too. I haven’t seen somebody look that different in the span of a year since Dr. Dre.

I know I’m all over the place with this post so I’ll start rapping wrapping it up. Here’s a few observations and thoughts before I close:

• Will the Warriors be able to get up for whoever (The Rockets) they face in the next round? They pulled of one of the greatest upsets in NBA playoff history.. Do they keep the momentum rollin or let down?
• What the hell was Snoop Dogg doing at the game cheering for the Warriors? I don’t care if G. State’s in Cali, Snoops from LA (Long Beach)… He musta got hit in the head with a puck at that hockey game. Maybe Oracle Arena is the only place on earth that still lets Snoop Dogg inside it’s borders.
• Marc Cuban was rumored to be interested in buying the Chicago Cubs.. The curse must jump on people that are even midly associated with the team. If 67 wins, televisions at every locker, and a billion dollars can’t buy an NBA championship, I don’t know what can.
• Even though the recent “Prejudiced Refs” hoopla seems to be mostly crap, I was a little nervous for the Warriors when I saw that Steve Javie, Ron Garretson, and Mark Wunderlich would be blowin the whistle for game 6. As I stated earlier, the Warriors traded away their sucka repellent.

If you want a taste of how Oaktown sounds right now (minus the .357s) check out this mix: DJ Marcelo: Dummy Live in Stockholm . I swacked it from a blog that I can’t recall… It was last year… Possibly The Nation Of Thizzlam

R.I.P. MAC D-R-E

You can take a look at my brackets here. Courtesy of Ball Hype

Live footage of what’s happening in Oakland at any given moment. Courtesy of YouTube

Here’s why the Rockets are gonna win game 7. Courtesy of YBB

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 The defending Western Conference champions are on the ropes.. Dallas had to be nervous going into the game after watching the other half of last year’s NBA Finals get eliminated. It wasn’t an elimination game, but choking off a 7 point lead in the fourth quarter and then having to drive through Oakland to the airport probably made the Mavs feel like the series is over. The Warriors are feelin themselves after going up 3-1. Check out this video from the locker room after the game.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJqFqRtjxTY]

In the long history of things that go together like peanut butter and jelly, rum and coke, and chicken and waffles, there have never been two things that make a better match than Oakland and Stephen Jackson. Who here would be surprised if S-Jacks was ghost ridin his whip and turnin tight ones at midcourt? Not me..

Speaking of “Ghost Riding”, remember when the police had to do it?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Okpa_StzUcQ&mode=related&search=]

If you’re afraid of the sideshowin, goin dumb Oakland, check out Sherry’s Oak-Town.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFWKSNFHpR8]

See, Oakland’s not all bad.. PLUS.. Jessica Alba sits courtside at Warriors’ games. JESSICA ALBA. I’ll take her over Penny Marshall or Dyan Cannon any day.

Neither Stephen Jackson or the Hyphy movemnent had anything to do with this. Thank you Yahoo

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