My future-ex has teamed up with Tampax and her first commercial features Serena and Mother Nature trading comments via press conferences. It’s a real menstrual show.

Mother Nature better watch out. If she makes Serena mad Mother Nature is gonna have a tennis ball forcefully inserted into her body.. Which is how I assumed Serena handled the monthly visit.

SERENA? AS FEMININE HYGIENE SPOKESPERSON? [With Leather]

It’s not Tennis Ball but it’s better than anything I’d put out. I can’t wait to hear DBM repeat Svetlana Kuznetsova over and over in his next song.

I get it Serena.. You wanted to avenge your sister’s loss to Kim Clijsters but you were getting your ass handed to you so you snapped.. But you can’t. It doesn’t matter if you were threatening to kill the judge or asking her out for Starbucks, yelling and causing a scene are reasons people don’t like to recognize your overall game.

Serena said she doesn’t like the circus around her, and that she feels like “one of those girls on a reality show that has all the drama, and everyone in the house hates them because no matter what they do, like, drama follows them,” and then started some drama by letting the cheat word slip out.

Serena’s right. There’s no way Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez didn’t know that the ball hit her. But it’s not her fault that Serena didn’t get the point.

In a perfect world Sanchez would’ve raised her arm or somehow acknowledged the infraction, but she didn’t. So be it. You don’t see offensive lineman telling the ref to watch them because they’ve been holding all day. Pitchers don’t complain about getting calls two inches off the plate. It’s the officials job to uphold the rules, the players are only supposed to follow them.

Props to RollingOut.com for the Serena photo shoot pics and video. Hopefully Serena can get over her injuries and complaining about the WTA and back to dominating on the court.

Serena Williams is clearly an American tennis player although I couldn’t blame her if she applied for dual citizenship in Australia. My girlfriend Serena has won the Australian Open singles title 3 times, and she’s in the final for singles and doubles this year.

Making it to the finals in both singles and doubles has given Serena Williams a few distinctions. First, she passed Annika Sorenstam and now holds the title for most career prize money won by a female athlete. Second, if she wins the Australian Open singles title she’ll be one of seven women with 10 or more Grand Slam victories. Third, she’s extended her lead in the “Female athlete with the most junk in the trunk” category.

You can’t rely on American men in major tennis tournaments, but you can always count on Serena Williams and her booty. That doesn’t mean she reaches the finals of every tournament she enters. I mean that win or lose, Serena’s body is one of a champion. Like my man Bill D. said after seeing Serena in person for the first time, “That’s a woman. You gotta be somebody like Ray Lewis to handle all of that.” I hope Common’s been hitting the gym.

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The latest war of words at the Australian Open doesn’t involve fanbases that will be throwing chairs at each other. This battle is an all-American affair featuring Serena Williams, Andy Roddick, and a tennis match played in 1993.

Williams and Roddick squared off while both were training in Delray Beach, Florida. Serena says she won 6-1, Andy says it was 6-4, but either way both admit that Serena won.

Even though she’s joking, Serena is putting a lot on her victory over Roddick.. Even going as far as doing the “I beat A, A beat B and C, so I can beat B and C” math.

A broad smile appeared on her face when she said perhaps that win implied she also had victories over Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer (on the grounds that Roddick has beaten both although he has a losing record against the Spaniard).

Andy Roddick explains why he lost to Serena:

“When we were 10, I had to literally run around in the shower to get wet,” he said. “She was bench-pressing dump trucks already at that time.”

That’s funny. But Roddick should have said she was squatting dump trucks. That’s how she developed that badunka.

A couple of days ago I posted some pictures of Serena Williams and Common surfing in Hawaii and now here’s the video.

It’s the same shots you’ve seen except you get the added benefit of seeing Serena fall off of her board and struggle past some slippery rocks. Whoever was on the camera spends the last minute of the video focused on Serena’s booty. I’m not mad at that.

You can check out more pics of Serena and Common surfing here, here, and here. If you like Serena the way I do I suggest you follow those links.

This video is from Serena’s visit to Nike’s World Headquarters, and I’m glad to see the Swoosh keeping it gangsta with the unedited version of Soulja Boy’s song. They probably got away with it because Phil Knight and company can’t understand the music and don’t know that they’re blasting “Superman that Hoe” with children present.