Bloggas Be Typin’ is a round-up of stories that you might have missed. Click the pictures for the source.

The execs at H.E.B. probably felt pretty good about getting David Carr, Andy Pettitte, and Roger Clemens together to sing about taking their meat to a ball game. Fast-forward a couple of years and the commercial features a NY Giants backup quarterback, an admitted HGH user, and a probable performance enhancing drug user. That roster isn’t appealing now, but these were three of the biggest names in Houston at one time. I know this because H.E.B. kept putting them in commercials.

Over the Fence (Carr, Clemens, and Pettitte)

Carr Doesn’t Like Sacks (Carr and Clemens)

Roger Loses His Job (Clemens and Pettitte)

Roger Can’t Read Signs (Clemens)

Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, David Carr, commercial, video, youtube, utube

Shaquille O’Neal was brought to Phoenix to deliver the Suns a championship, but we’ll have to wait until next year to see if he can make good. The early playoff exit this year has given O’Neal time to brush up on his police work. First duty: Get the people of the Pascua Yaqui Reservation to give $75,000 to the Tempe Police Department.

The Tempe PD applied for a 75k grant from the tribe after Shaq and Pascua Yaqui chairman Peter Yucupicio became buddies. The money will be used to help begin a new Internet Crimes Against Children Unit in Tempe.

When I look at the picture above, The Big Cactus just looks big. I’m gonna say it’s the camera angle unless Shaq was holding his stomach in when he addressed the crowd.

Can you imagine Shaquille O’Neal as the Big Chris Hansen? The should give Shaq his own Dateline show, and let him try to bust professional athletes. Roger, Karl, why don’t you have a seat?

Shaq snares $75,000 from Yaquis for Internet saftey program. Courtesy of the Tuscon Citizen

Shaquille O’Neal, Tempe Police Department, Yaquis, video

Jose Canseco has grown accustom to watching his best laid plans go up in smoke. He took steroids to become a superhuman baseball player, but ended up a big joke. He wrote “Juiced” with hopes of hurting Major League Baseball, but has seen the sport thrive despite all of the steroid talk. This time around, Jose’s book “Vindicated” could lead to him being indicted.

Federal investigators met with Jose in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago to talk about current and former ballplayer’s use of performance enhancing drugs. While Canseco thought he would only be snitching on others, the investigators had a few questions for Jose about Jose.

They asked him about a number of current and former major leaguers, including Alex Rodriguez, and their possible connection to performance-enhancing drugs. They also asked Canseco whether he sought money from various players before the release of his latest book.

Jose Canseco’s lawyer, Greg S. Emerson, knew this was a bad sign for his client.

He said he became troubled when Novitzky said he had heard that Canseco had approached a number of major leaguers about investing in a movie project even as Canseco was working on his second book about baseball and performance-enhancing drugs, titled “Vindicated.”

Emerson went on to say he’s afraid that the investigators are shooting the messenger. I’d say they’re getting it right. Jose Canseco shed a lot of light on the steroid situation, but that doesn’t him the right to turn into a shakedown artist. And considering the amount of steroids Jose brought to the game, a federal charge of some sort seems fair.

Officials Sharpen Questions for Canseco. Courtesy of The New York Times

Jose Canseco, MLB, extortion, baseball

Country singer Mindy McCready tearfully told the Daily News that she did indeed have a 10 year romance with pitcher Roger Clemens. The Daily News broke this story yesterday, and they’ve followed up today by going straight to the source. McCready admitted that she and The Rocket were intimate, but read from a prepared statement to say it’s none of our business.

Yes, I have known Roger Clemens for a long time. He’s a kind and caring man. He’s also a legendary athlete. The central topic in the debate, however, regards his professional life, not his personal life.

Mindy McCready and Roger Clemens met in a Fort Meyers bar in 1990. Mindy was 15 years old, Clemens 28. In today’s terms it’s like Josh Beckett going out with somebody like Miley Cyrus..

Clemens took the 15-year-old McCready back to his hotel room the night they met, but McCready says Roger didn’t go Luis Polonia on her.. According to Mindy, they didn’t start hooking up until she moved to Nashville and her singing career was established.. I don’t know if I’m buying it..

Mindy McCready’s first album wasn’t released until 1996. That means if she had a 10-year-fling with Roger Clemens, it just ended in 2006. If Clemens stepped to her mound in 1993 and they broke up in 2003, that would put this ‘03 Fox News blind item in a different perspective:

We were pretty upset when this professional sports player decided to leave New York. We thought it was for more money, but we were wrong.

For years this guy professed to have a “special relationship with God.” But it turns out he had a special relationship with a woman who was not his wife. When the wife found out, she went ballistic. The player had two choices: stay in New York with his mistress, or return home and play with a new team.

Wisely, he chose the latter, which was why you didn’t hear the thunder that usually accompanies such transactions. His New York employer knew the score, and had to acquiesce. Sometimes being a sport is more important than playing one.

At the time everybody thought that this referred to Andy Pettitte.. And it probably did considering Andy left the Yankees for Houston after the 2003 season, and he doesn’t hide his faith. So either Andy Pettitte copies his big buddy’s every action, or bits and pieces of the blind item were out of place.. Similar to the L.A. Times Roger Clemens/Jason Grimsley affidavit story.. If Roger dumped Mindy in 2003 it could explain her string of run-ins with the law starting in 2004.

Mindy McCready weeps as she confirms affair with Roger Clemens. Courtesy of the Daily News

Roger Clemens, Mindy McCready, Andy+Pettitte, baseball

Former MLB manager Davey Johnson is known as a man that will give you an honest answer.. Even when he shouldn’t. Johnson granted the Daily News an interview and talked openly about Dwight Gooden, the death of his daughter, and performance enhancing drugs in baseball. Davey’s thoughts on steroids and users came after a seemingly harmless question about Roger Clemens pitching for the Olympic team.

DN: There has been much speculation that Roger Clemens might pitch for Team USA in the Olympics. Do you see that happening?

DJ: No. No possibility. He’s probably good enough to go out and throw BP and get people out, but for me, you’ve got to be competing. I want guys who are playing their best right now, in a league. I don’t want some guy who has been off for three months.

DN: Did you watch the Clemens-McNamee congressional hearing? Who did you believe?

DJ: You know who I believed. Roger Clemens was a great pitcher. He pitched by intimidating. Try to get an edge, look at you. He’d hit his grandmother if he thought it would help him win a game. You’ve got to admire what he’s done. But he’s in that group where you’ve got to believe that anything he would do to make himself better, he’s going to do. I just think the deal in those hearings – that’s just his personality. He’s going to try to intimidate: “I’m coming through here and you’re not going to get in my way.”

Davey doesn’t sound like he’s to big on The Rocket, but he says one thing that’s true of people, not just Roger Clemens or ballplayers. People are gonna do whatever they can to get to the top. If that means taking roids, cheating on tests, stealing, whatever, human nature is to do that shit.. But if you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar, own up to it. It worked out for Jason Giambi.

DJ drops gems all over this interview, and another classic came when he was asked if he was aware of performance enhancing drug use when he was a MLB manager. He says Brady Anderson was a workout fiend, and Rafael Palmiero had a soft body, so he never suspected either of using roids. He apparently didn’t think Jim Leyritz was on anything either even after this incident:

When I was managing the Dodgers, we picked up Jim Leyritz and he was making this concoction in the clubhouse kitchen. I said, “What are you doing?” He said, “I’m making a little something to pep the club up.” He had all these powders and cans and stuff. He gave me a shot of it. My heart started jumping out of my damn chest, and I didn’t have but a thimbleful. I was taking medicine for arrhythmia. I asked him what it was, he said mostly Red Bull with some other kickers in there.

Red Bull and kickers? I think Red Bull and amphetamines is the appropriate term. Leyritz must not have put enough ‘kickers’ in the mix because the team’s uninspired play led to Davey Johnson being fired after two seasons.. Weird bit of foreshadowing with Leyritz nearly killing Davey Johnson with a drink.

Davey Johnson tells of Mets days, steroids, and Olympic dreams. Courtesy of the Daily News

Davey Johnson, MLB, Roger Clemens, steroids

The congressional hearings on steroids that featured Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee turned into a partisan circus. The Dems were buying what McNamee was selling, the Republicans were clearly riding for Roger, and the country was exposed to Clemens’ ass and a lot of butt kissing. Tom Davis, a Republican from Virginia, has dropped his thoughts on the whole mess with a new report. As you can guess it favors The Rocket.

The top Republican on the congressional committee investigating whether Roger Clemens used performance-enhancing drugs has released a report questioning whether the seven-time Cy Young Award winner lied in his testimony before the panel last month.

The 109-page report, obtained Tuesday by The Associated Press, contains details Davis believes could challenge the credibility of Brian McNamee, the personal trainer who says he injected Clemens with drugs.

Instead of challenging the credibility of McNamee, why doesn’t Mr. Davis explain how McNamee’s accusations about everybody from Andy Pettitte to Debbie Clemens have been right? Roger and his supporters have dug in so deep that I don’t know if they can see the truth. We all wanna put the steroid era behind us but we can’t do it until everybody comes clean.

Tags: Roger Clemens, Brian McNamee, Tom Davis, Steroids, congressional hearings

You’re rolling the dice by asking rapper Rick Ross questions other than his name or directions to the jeweler. Fast forward to the 1:12 mark where Ross says it’s ok for Barack Obama to get serviced while he’s on the road and away from his wife. From there the Miami based rapper moves on to HGH.

What’s wrong with a little HGH? You’re 35 years old, let’s take Shaq for instance. That’s my best friend. His hip, his knee,.. He’s 30 something years, jumpin up and down. What’s wrong with a little HGH?

C’mon, yall know Mark McGuire was only hitting 15 home runs a year then overnight they went to 60 a season.. But he did it for the game. I stopped watching baseball til HGH came back. So yall gotta keep it real. What yall wanna do? Yall wanna get money, yall wanna sell hotdogs, yall wanna sell memorabilia, gotta hit home runs. If yall wanna fuck around and go outta business keep fucking with Petiteet and ‘em and got ‘em telling on my boy Roger Clemens. Yall keep being with that bullshit. Roger Clemens is a fucking hero. Now yall turning yall back. Little HGH. Man throw 100 mile per hour fastballs, been doing it 20 years.

Is Rick implicating Shaq or just using him as an example? I couldn’t quite tell.. And of course Roger Clemens is a hero to Rick Ross. Clemens lives the life that Ross raps about. Clemens is caught up in the drug game, surrounded by haters and snitches, and getting sweated by the feds. Rick probably has a picture of Roger Clemens hanging between his Scarface movie poster and a picture of the real Freeway Ricky Ross.

Tags: Rick Ross, Roger Clemens, HGH, Shaquille O’Neal, video, youtube

Jeff Van Gundy was a good coach but he’s a better broadcaster. He’s straight up and doesn’t hold back. He has some biases, but none are as bad as Doug Collin’s love for Steve Nash. I think there’s a 85% chance that Doug Collins calls his sons daily and yells “Why couldn’t you be like Steve?!?!”

So near the end of ESPN’s broadcast of the Milwaukee Bucks-Los Angeles Lakers game, the discussion turned to the health of Kobe Bryant. It had been revealed earlier in the game that Bryant was suffering from an infection.

JVG: If I was Phil Jackson I would inject a dose of upper respiratory viral infection into my whole team tomorrow at practice. That would be practice.

MB: In case you’re just tuning in and you don’t know what this sick man is talking about.. Bryant not feeling well, before the game, and that’s what he has, but it certainly hasn’t affected him, 37 points 7 assist 5 rebounds.

JVG: Can you do that? Can you inject somebody with a serum of upper respiratory viral infection?

MB: I believe that’s illegal.

JVG: Isn’t that what Clemens said he did?

MB: (subtly laughing) You’re going down a dangerous path. I’ll ask you to reconsider during this timeout.

JVG: Laughs

They didn’t talk about it anymore after the timeout, but they didn’t need to. JVG had done his job.. Another funny moment came after the game when Andrew Bynum dropped a F-bomb during the post game interview. It looks like he took a lot of notes from Kobe’s summer tirade.

Tags: Jeff Van Gundy, Roger Clemens, Steroids, ESPN

The Congressional hearing that will feature Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, and Brian McNamee has been delayed until February 13th. Congress wants to actually plan for this hearing instead of winging it like they did the first time MLB was called to Capitol Hill. The House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform will begin meeting with lawyers for Clemens, Pettitte, and McNamee Thursday.

January 15th will still see steroids in front of Congress as the HCOOAGR will breakdown the Mitchell Report. Testifying in front of the House that day will be Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig, union leader Donald Fehr, and George Mitchell. Hopefully Fehr and Selig will have to face some tough questions.. Like, how far up your ass does your head have to be for you to be blind to the steroid problem?

At the end of the day, these hearings mean nothing. The players and owners won’t be forced to give back any money, World Series rings aren’t going to be forfeited. MLB’s attendance has been climbing for years so the fans are clearly not too upset by performance enhancing drug use. The hysteria over outing guys will wear off, and the game will get back to normal. And we’re all gonna wonder how the hell Congress has this much time on their hands.

Hearing featuring Clemens, McNamee, Pettitte postponed until Feb. 13. Courtesy of ESPN

Photo courtesy of The Hype Guy

Tags: Roger Clemens, Congress, Andy Pettitte, Baseball