Meet Newy Scruggs. He’s a sports reporter for NBC Dallas-Ft. Worth that’s been dispatched to San Francisco to cover the Giants-Rangers World Series. His first observations: The people are friendlier than New Yorkers and “half buzzed-out.” Scruggs points out some people getting high off-camera and mentions smoking weed four more times before signing-off. I wouldn’t think a little weed would bother a reporter in Dallas, the home of the cocaine snorting, hundreds of pounds of ganja transporting, Cowboys. I guess in Big D it’s a big deal when the fans are getting high instead of the players.

Good stuff from Newy. Too bad that in a week or two he’ll deny saying any of this. I wonder if he’s related to the woman at 3:14 in the video below? I see a strong resemblance..

They Think We’re Smoking Weed [NBC Bay Area]

A midget dunking, Sasquatch existing, Kirstie Alley executing a perfect swan dive.

These are just a few of the things the public judges as more likely than the Giants beating the Phillies in the National League Championship Series this year.

Common thought has Philly prevailing in four to six games on the strength of home field advantage, a star-studded lineup and an ace who’s as difficult to hit as a house fly after six Jack-and-Cokes (so I hear anyway).

As unlikely as it is that the Giants will win, it’s still going to be a great series to watch.

Why?

It depends who you are.

If you’re a Phillies fan, the answer is obvious: This is your chance for revenge. Beating the Giants gives you a chance to go back to the World Series in a potential rematch against the hated Evil Empire.

Philly may have won a championship in 2008, but let’s not kid ourselves. There’s pride on the line when it comes to playing the Yankees. The Phillies are hungry for redemption.

Derek Jeter and Co. embarrassed them last year, beating them two of three games at home and delivering an Evander Holyfield-Buster Douglas–esque beatdown in a decisive Game 6. Yes, the Phillies won two games in the series (including Game 1) but both of those games were Cliff Lee starts. Without him, they likely would have been swept.

It’s obvious this team still has something to prove.

On the other hand, if you’re a Giants fan, you have next to nothing to prove. You’re the happy-go-lucky guy at the corner of the bar with the black-and-orange cap and the Brian Wilson imitation beard. Your team wasn’t supposed to make it this far, not with the lineup it started the season with, which means you’re in bonus baseball right now all things considered.

I know this because I’m a Giants fan. And, like nearly every other Giants fan I know, I’m happier than a pig in Clay Davis’ favorite noun that my team is in the NLCS. It’s something I dreamed about but hardly expected.

After all, this is a team that began the season with Pablo Sandoval, Aubrey Huff and Mark DeRosa at the heart of the lineup. Tom Berenger’s Indians from Major League had a better middle of the order. Now San Francisco is four games away from a championship appearance.

If you’re a Giants fan and you don’t care about this series, you must be out of your damn mind.

The same goes for baseball purists, the ones who love a good old fashioned pitcher’s duel.

This series features one of the finest collections of aces in recent memory (Roy Halladay, Tim Lincecum, Roy Oswalt, Matt Cain, Cole Hamels, Jonathan Sanchez) creating pitching matchups so exhilarating your 60-year-old neighbor will ditch his Cialis for the week.

He won’t need it with the excitement this series is going to produce. (If you like pitching that is.)

Each of those guys has pitched brilliantly so far in the playoffs, particularly Halladay (second no-hitter in postseason history against the Reds) and Lincecum (nine innings of shutout ball and 14 strikeouts against the Braves). Watching these two square off in Game 1 is going to be like watching Picasso go head-to-head with Van Gogh in a paint-off; just clear everyone out of the way and let the masters work.

I can’t wait.

Hardcore fanatics and Philly/San Fran homers aren’t the only ones who will fall in love with this series though.

Casual baseball fans will love the personality of the Giants. Not only are they underdogs, San Francisco is also the most personality-riddled clubhouse in the league.

Think about it. There’s Lincecum with his boyish grin and Hanson-esque locks. There’s Brian Wilson with his cartoonish beard, unbuttoned shirt and orange-Sharpied cleats. There’s Buster Posey with his baby-faced charm. And there’s Kung-Fu Panda, the Giants’ tubby third baseman who blows bubbles with his gum during routine throws to first base.

What’s not to love about this team?

They’re probably going to get their asses handed to them by an offensive juggernaut that includes multiple MVP winners, but they’re going to have fun doing it. And odds are so will you.

If you’re a Yankees fan, you’ll probably flip over to this series during 30 Rock commercial breaks. You’ll say you’re scouting the competition but really you’re just counting the days until ring No. 28. Who’re we kidding? You’ve already scheduled the parade into your Blackberry.

Rangers fans will be so caught up researching things like Alex Rodriguez’s effectiveness against left-handed starters and Andy Pettitte’s ERA on 11 days’ rest that they’ll likely skip this series altogether. Not that they should. If anybody has a chance of knocking off the Yankees on the way to the World Series, it’s them.

Bud Selig will be out cold next to a stack of George Will hardcovers but when he wakes up momentarily to slug a glass of Perrier I bet he finds these games entertaining.

Alyssa Milano will probably like the matchup quite a bit less. But when she succeeds in breaking down the door to Matt Kemp’s room, it will at least give them something to watch together.

Meanwhile, Robin Williams will be launching into an even more unintelligible tirade than the one he threw before Game 1 of the NLDS and Gavin Newsom will be scheming ways to wrap the Liberty Bell in a Giants flag.

Even the Philly Phanatic will take a break from filming ESPN commercials to watch. (Derek Jeter still won’t know who the green hair in his razor belongs to though. Bad um chish.)

In the end, we’ll all be winners because this series is going to be the most entertaining, lopsided NLCS matchup we’ve had in a long time. If we’re lucky, it’ll be Celtics-Bulls 2008. If not, at least it’ll be quick and raucous.

Getcha popcorn ready.

Patrick Crawley is the sports editor for Neon Tommy and the managing editor of Basketball Fiend.

As the Rangers, Yankees, Giants, and Phillies start the American and National league Championships and take one step closer towards their goal of a World Series title, a slew of dominating pitchers and devastating bats are set to face off. The first round of the playoffs was amazing and we can only hope that we will witness equal excitement in round two. But some of MLB’s best performers from 2010 are going to be watching these championships at home on the couch, just like the rest of us. So this week I’d like to give a shout out to the best losers in baseball for the 2010 season.

First on the list is Felix Hernandez of the Seattle Mariners. Hernandez led the AL with a 2.27 ERA and was second in strikeouts with 232, one less than Anaheim’s Jared Weaver and one more than NLCS Game 1 starter Tim Lincecum. With those numbers Hernandez still managed to end the season only one game over .500 at 13-12. But considering the Mariners finished dead last in their division and had over 100 losses, 13 wins is still a respectable total especially with six of those wins coming in complete games. King Felix is like the Sultan of Brunei, an imposing monarch who rules over a relatively powerless nation.

Our next best loser is Toronto Blue Jay Jose Bautista. After never hitting more than 16 homeruns in a season, Bautista belted 54 bombs this year to lead the majors. Paul Konerko, second in homeruns in the American League, didn’t even crack 40. Bautista stayed healthy, missing only one game this season, and his OBP of .378 was almost 30 points higher than his previous best. Unfortunately for Toronto, all those yardballs were pretty much meaningless outside of future contract negotiations because the Jays finished fourth in the AL East. Bautista turns 30 next week and if he can stay healthy he should be able to show this year wasn’t a fluke. But being in a division with the Rays, Yankees, and Red Sox, things aren’t getting any easier for the Blue Jays.

Another best loser candidate 2010 is pitcher Josh Johnson of the Florida Marlins. Johnson led the NL with a 2.30 ERA and his 186 strikeouts were only five back of his career high. Johnson’s WHIP was also a career low 1.11. The Marlins have played second fiddle to the Rays down in Florida for the last couple of seasons now and 2010 was no exception; the Marlins won only 80 games and finished third in the NL East while the Rays won their division and were just eliminated from the playoffs.

The breakout best loser of the year is Colorado Rocky Carlos Gonzalez. In his first full major league season CarGo led the NL with a .336 batting average and was second in the National league with 117 RBI. He and his Rockies made a valiant effort down the stretch this year, reeling off 10 in a row at one point just a few weeks ago, but ended up in third place in the division. However, together with the emergence of ace Ubaldo Jimenez and the continued leadership of shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies fans have a lot to look forward to in the future.

Although the Cardinals didn’t live up to preseason expectations, Albert Pujols was still one of the best losers in all of baseball. The Machine continued his cool domination, once again making a legitimate run at the NL Triple Crown by leading the National League in both homeruns with 42 and RBI with 118. Pujols’ .312 average was low by his astronomical standards but still impressive in comparison with the rest of the league. But Joey Votto and the Reds came out of nowhere to take the NL Central title from the second place Cards and leaving the Machine to rest and grease his joints for next season.

The last best loser for 2010 is Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers. Cabrera also made a legitimate run for the Triple Crown in the American League and finished second in batting average at .328, third in homeruns with 38, and first in RBI with 126. This was Cabrera’s highest average since 2006 and his most homeruns ever in a single season. The Tigers as a team though, were the definition of mediocrity finishing third in the AL Central with an even 81-81 record.

In today’s world of sports, being the best loser isn’t such a terrible thing. Even stars on crappy teams get huge paydays. And if you’re lucky, you might even get bought up by the Yankees and given a real chance to play for something meaningful.

Brett Phelps is currently attending the Graduate School of English at New Mexico Highlands Universtiy and is living in a hermit’s retreat in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. When he isn’t cheating on his homework or preparing for the upcoming ski season, he is a contributing writer at TheGoldenSombrero. Any questions, comments, love or hate mail can be sent to brettsta04@yahoo.com

After six long months and 162 grueling games (not including spring training) the Major League Baseball playoffs are finally once again upon us. The competition has been whittled away to the cream of the crop and now only the guys who have strung together enough consistency, heart, and luck over the last half year are facing off head to head. Only one more month watching baseball and then it’s on to basketball season and things have already gotten off to a hot start.

First of all, big ups to Philadelphia Philly Roy Halladay. The guy hurled his second no hitter of the season and the first playoff no-no since Don Larsen’s perfect game in the 1956 World Series. Mercenary ace Cliff Lee also showed up and did his thing in game one for the Rangers against Tampa Bay. Lee gave up only one run in seven innings and struck out ten batters. These were then followed up on Thursday night with Tim Lincecum’s two hit, fourteen K performance in the Giants opening game against the NL wild card Atlanta Braves. Viva la shortball!

While the Rays took down the Yankees in the regular season battle for the AL East, it doesn’t look like they will have a chance to face them in the playoffs. The Rays came out dead two straight games at home and now face the difficult task of taking two away from the Rangers in Texas. This is the first time Texas has made the playoffs since 1999 and they remain the only one of all thirty MLB teams to have never won a playoff series which means this series could finish out two ways. Either the Rangers are going to take the pressure of the franchise’s pathetic playoff past and use it as motivation to finish off the Rays or they are going to have a complete meltdown and once again fall into the trap that has plagued them for so long. With everyone healthy on the Rangers and the Rays sputtering I don’t see Texas relinquishing this stranglehold and with the Cowboys slow start I’m sure the people of Dallas are eager for some winning.

In the other American League series, the Minnesota Twins also squandered their home field advantage to the Yankees and face a 0-2 hole heading into the Bronx for games three and four. Things aren’t looking good for Joe Mauer and company and I expect you can look forward to much Big Apple New York versus Wild West Texas promotion for the American League Championship Series. I predict the Yankees to win that series and represent the AL in the World Series simply because it’s never a bad bet to take the Yanks. Being from Texas I will of course be rooting for the Rangers but I accept that those efforts will most likely be in vain.

Things seem to be more exciting on the National League side at the moment based on the fact that only one game has been played in each of those series so far and in those two games the winning pitchers gave up a combined no runs, two hits, two walks and struck out 22. The extra night of rest for closer B-Weezy should help the San Francisco bullpen maintain their recent dominance into the playoffs but I predict the Giants will win their series based on sheer cool factor.

The Cincinnati Reds are the feel good story of this year’s postseason. Devoid of superstars and led by breakout Triple Crown candidate Joey Votto, the Reds put together a solid 2010 campaign that saw them climb easily to the top of the trash heap that is the National League Central. Unfortunately for fans in Cincinnati, those dreams were dealt a vicious blow in the form of a Roy Halladay no-hit gem. The Phillies will be looking for the jugular Friday night with trade deadline acquisition Roy Oswalt trying to match Halladay’s game one dominance. I predict Philadelphia will take care of business in this series and face San Francisco in the NLCS. Once again I believe the Giants will pull through and that we will have a Biggie versus 2Pac east coast versus west coast World Series. While the Giants haven’t won a World Series since 1954 and the Yankees are the most dominant franchise in sports history, I’m picking the Giants just in the hopes of seeing Tim Lincecum lighting up his victory blunt in lieu of a traditional cigar during the postgame celebrations while Brian Wilson and Pablo Sandoval shotgun cans of beer.

The thing the 2010 season will be most remembered for beyond superb pitching will be atrocious umpiring. Starting back with wannabe-country singer and general asshole Joe West calling out the Yankees and Red Sox for their slow play, this season has been marked with one umping blunder after another. Of course there was Armando Galarraga being robbed of a perfect game by Jim Joyce, but there were also numerous other events that have triggered an increase in call for baseball to turn to instant replay.

These playoffs have been no exception. In only two days of postseason play there have already been two calls that were clearly blown and could have potentially been corrected by the use of replay. As I said earlier this summer I think a lot of this has to do with the increase in technology people a million miles away use to watch the game and find the idea of instant replay in baseball appalling. Baseball is a game where a player only has to get it right three out of ten times to be considered a star so why should we expect perfection from our umps? It’s a human sport with human action, excitement, and errors and I’m going to enjoy taking in every bit of this last month of the great summer game for what it is and not what some TV producer’s closeups and replays say it should be. The way people in this techno-addicted society have been crying for MLB to get with the times it might not be long until we see major changes in the way the game is officiated, so savor these playoffs, both good and bad calls, with that in mind.

Brett Phelps is a wandering nomad who currently finds himself in the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains attending graduate school at New Mexico Highlands University. His future plans include one day freediving to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and owning his own private island. In his spare time he speaks to wild animals and contributes regularly to TheGoldenSombrero.com. Any questions, comment, love or hate mail can be sent to brettsta04@yahoo.com

The first time the Rays and Yankees played this season was April 9th at Tropicana Field. Both had taken two of three in their first series and were eager to keep the early season momentum rolling. This game was significant for two reasons. First, I was watching it from the right field bleachers and it happened to be my birthday. It was the first Major League game I’d been to in a while and there is no better way I could have brought in my new year. The second, arguably greater, significance behind this April matchup is that with less than a dozen games left to play these two teams still find themselves separated by only a half game for the National League East crown.

This Thursday the squads finished their last regular season head-to-head series. Tampa Bay won in a 10-3 blowout and Carl Crawford had three hits while four other Rays had multi-hit performances. This split the series 2-2 and cut the Yankees’ lead to under a game. More importantly, it also gave Tampa Bay a 10-8 season series lead in what is the first tiebreaker should they end the regular season in a tie. These two teams have been sitting atop the NL East all season long and both are going to make it to the playoffs, but this edge would give the Rays home-field advantage throughout the postseason.

Other than both closing in on 100 wins for the season, these two teams don’t have a lot in common. Some of that difference is represented through each team’s roster. The Yankees are notorious hired guns, from the highest-paid man in sports on down. The Rays, on the other hand, have the 21st ranked payroll in baseball. The Yankees play in the world’s biggest market and therefore are always the talk of the town. The Rays have little following, even in their home town of St. Petersburg, and the owner has threatened to move the team due to poor attendance.

Then there is each team’s respective leader. The Yankees are captained by shortstop Derek Jeter, perennial all-star and frequent fan favorite, even for many who otherwise despise the Yankees. Jeter has kept his nose clean throughout most of his career and has as good of baseball instincts as anyone who’s ever played the game. Jeter is also especially popular in Tampa Bay, where his Yankees hold spring training and where a large Northeastern snowbird population gathers during cooler parts of the year.

But in their last meeting before the most recent series, Jeter upset a lot of Tampa fans with his sell-job on the ball that hit the cap of his bat. Rays fans were rightfully upset, but I have to give Jeter credit for earning his hit-by-pitch. As a former umpire, I can understand how the blue missed it and I also appreciate the effort Jeter put forth to convince him. Many fans didn’t see it that way and cries of “Derek Cheater” have been ringing out through the streets of St. Petersburg.

The Rays are led by third baseman and all-around cool dude Evan Longoria. I’ll admit I’m biased though; Longo is a friend of the site and was kind enough to give us a few minutes of his time earlier this year during the All-Star break out in Southern California. At that point the Rays were within two games of the Yanks and when asked what he thought about the face-off coming down the stretch he said, “The Yankees are gonna continue to be good, and we know that… We just can’t keep looking up at them and worrying what they’re doing. You know, we just gotta worry about what we do every day and just play the game hard.” At only 24 years old, Longo answers like a seasoned vet, one who already understands the importance of team confidence and grinding it out every single night for the course of the season. This guy knows what it takes to lead a team, even up against New York’s million-dollar mercenaries.

That game back on April 9th the Rays won 9-3 and it was a sign of good things to come. Breakout ace David Price got his first win of the season and both Carlos Pena and Willie Aybar hit homeruns over my head in right field. It also set the tone for Evan Longoria and his band of underdogs: they weren’t going to be intimidated by the pinstriped veterans or their championship rings and banners. That aggressive attitude has never waned and going down the final stretch don’t look for any of Longo’s boys to be backing down.

Home-field advantage could still go either way, but the Rays definitely have the advantage in playing their last three series against Seattle, Baltimore, and Kansas City while the Yankees matchup six more times with their historical nemesis, the Boston Red Sox. Even though they are out of contention this year Boston can always take some solace in spoiling the Yankees finish, so they will playing hard down to the last out. The division title will be decided by whoever wants it more, but what would be really exciting would be if these two teams pair up somewhere down the road in the American League playoffs. Whether you’re a Yankee or Rays lover, hater, or somewhere in between, that is the kind of drama any sports fan should be rooting for.

It’s been a minute since we’ve heard from Norman Tugwater which is understandable since he’s out recruiting clients for his fantasy sports lawyer services. Tugwater already has big-name clients Adrian Peterson, Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant, so now he’s added Big Papi to his roster. And don’t get it twisted. David Ortiz is the carrot in that relationship.

“time to collect” – david ortiz’s testimonial [Vitaminwater-Youtube]

Only a few weeks remain in Major League Baseball’s regular season and there’s no reason for fans not to be thrilled; we’ve got fantastic finishes shaping up all around the league. In the National League West, the collapsing San Diego Padres, steady San Francisco Giants, and surging Colorado Rockies are battling for the division crown as well as the NL wildcard. Every win is now crucial for each of these teams, and all those seemingly worthless games from back in the spring have suddenly become relevant.

Entering the last week of August, things in the NL West looked to be settling down. The Padres, who’d been leading the division most of the year, were 27 games over .500 and had their biggest advantage of the season over their upstate rival Giants, at 7.5 games. The Rockies were less than 10 games over .500 and more than 10 games behind San Diego, looking like they were going to coast to a mediocre finish. Then as Labor Day approached upheaval began and we were all reminded why a 162 game schedule is a beautiful thing.

The Padres hit their worst skid of the season, tying the 1932 Pirates for the longest losing streak, 10 games, of any team still in first place. Even playing only .500 ball, the Giants were brought back into the picture and by last Friday had pulled themselves to a tie. While those two California teams were struggling to stay afloat, the Rockies caught fire out in Colorado. They put together a 10 game winning streak and by this week had closed to within three games of the division lead.

The Rockies have one more three game homestand against the Giants beginning September 24th, but avoiding the complete collapse of the Padres the most interesting series remaining in the National League will be a three game matchup between San Diego and San Francisco to conclude the regular season. If we’re lucky maybe we’ll even get a Bobby Thomson-like walk off from Pablo “Kung Fu Panda” Sandoval to help “The Giants win the pennant!” (Or the division, as the case may be).

But let us not forget those men in purple riding their Rocky Mountain high. The Rockies made it to the World Series in 2007 led by the same Troy Tulowitzki and Todd Helton and have since added slugger Carlos Gonzalez (.341, 32 HR, 106 RBI) and ace hurler Ubaldo Jimenez (18-6, no-hitter). They seem to be peaking at just the right time in the season and if they can keep this momentum up down the stretch that will remain in contention.

However, my personal pick to win is the Giants, if only for two subjective reasons. The first reason is that living in Reno the past few years we got all the Giants games on television and I watching them I came to be quite a fan, not of the actual team, but of some of its individual characters. The Kung Fu Panda not only has arguably the best current nickname in sports, but he is a blast to watch for his unforeseen portly ninja-ness and smiley exuberance, much like the voice behind the big screen Kung Fu Panda, Jack Black. I’m also a fan of any player brash enough to wear shoes so neon they break the league rules, and closer Brian Wilson’s orange cleats did just that. Furthermore, B-Weezy spends his pregame time throwing Frisbee-golf discs around the stadium and is just an all-around wild thing, the type of unpredictable personality that any fan loves to watch close games. I even root for him to get into jams, just because it is so entertaining to watch him get riled up.

Then there is the coolest dude in baseball, Tim Lincecum. He is a scrawny fireballer who smokes pot in his VW Bus when he isn’t out surfing or winning back to back Cy Young awards, sort of like Bill Lee only less outspoken and more dominant. Big Time Timmy Jim had a rough August, but seems to have worked through the funk and has now won his last three starts. With these guys all doing their thing down the stretch, not only will the Giants be one hell of a team to enjoy watching but they will have a very strong chance of making it into the playoffs.

The second reason I’ll be rooting for the Giants is simply because any team who goes into a slump as atrocious as the Padres this late in the year does not deserve the opportunity of post-season play. The Rockies have been laying it on the line this month and that is the same kind of momentum that carried them to the World Series three years ago. Hopefully they can climb over the slumping Padres to once again have a shot at the World Series.

Whatever happens between these three teams, it will be a lot of fun seeing how things unfold.

Earlier this summer I brought up the complexities of the business of baseball in regards to the selling of the Texas Rangers. It’s always a tricky thing when that much money is moving around, lots of investors and egos to keep satisfied. As big of a headache as that was, everything ended up going through alright, the sale baseball wanted to happen happened, and Nolan Ryan is now running the show in Texas. Better still, they have maintained their division lead and Rangers fans are optimistic about the future, including resigning superstar slugger and soon-to-be-free-agent Josh Hamilton this offseason. Now Dodgers fans are in the middle of their own pecuniary dilemma, and this isn’t the kind of September excitement they were hoping for.

It’s every fan’s dream to own a professional sports team. For those of us who accept we’re never going to actually make it onto the field, the front office is the next closest way to hold up a championship trophy. We tell ourselves “If I’m ever rich enough I’ll just buy a team and run it myself,” and sometimes when we actually make enough money we do it. Just ask Mark Cuban or Dan “the Fan” Snyder. For Frank McCourt a sports team was also the ultimate status symbol. After all, who needs to show off a mansion when people pay to watch games at your stadium? So when Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation put the Los Angeles Dodgers up for sale in 2004 McCourt was determined to make the team his.

Unfortunately for McCourt, he did not have the necessary funds immediately available. Nearly all of Frank and his wife Jamie’s wealth was tied up in the “Seaport property,” a prime piece of South Boston real estate Frank had spent years developing and then fighting for in litigation. But what Mr. McCourt lacked in liquidity he more than made up for in cunning and ruthless competitiveness. And so the “King of Leverage” and his lawyers worked out a deal that somehow managed to basically swap his parking lot for a Major League Baseball franchise with players, a stadium and its own parking lot included. There were no co-investors and the McCourts owned the Dodgers outright.

By this time Jamie McCourt was tired of Frank’s risk-taking business ventures and wanted a Marital Property Agreement to keep their personal real estate investments separate from the seemingly more precarious Dodgers investment. In the original agreement the houses would stay in Jamie’s name while the Dodgers went to Frank. Little did she know that just a few years later she’d be fighting over this agreement in divorce court while her real estate tanked and the Dodgers grew to be worth $727 million.

Of course you’re not married to Frank McCourt for 29 years without a bit of your own fighting spirit and Jamie is battling tough. She claims the original Marital Property Agreement is invalid and the team’s value should be split equally. Of course this is unacceptable to Frank McCourt, who has no intention of giving up any of his ownership power. This was apparently a lifelong investment for Frank and he is currently in the process of grooming his sons to take over when he retires.

Just as team ownership was a way for them to flaunt their status that exposure has left the divorce proceedings open to the same public scrutiny. The trial officially began this week and both McCourt’s dirty laundry has been aired; Frank accused Jamie of having an affair with her bodyguard and Jamie has retaliated by accusing Frank of fraud and falsifying documents while the spendthrift lifestyles of both have come to light. They basically used the Dodgers funds as their personal credit cards, and along with extravagant personal spending they also kept the front office stacked as an MC Hammer entourage. Two sons were paid handsomely as “advisors” for essentially not doing anything and at one point there was even a Russian faith healer on the bankroll paid to “think blue.”

For most of L.A., this is another story of love, fame and money gone badly. It is the kind of drama celebrity-obsessed Hollywood can’t get enough of, the train wreck they cheer for. But for the Dodgers true much more than scandalous gossip hangs in the balance. If Frank wins the team, things will most likely remain unchanged other than continuing ticket and parking price increases. However, if Jamie is decided to be due a portion of the team’s worth things could get very messy. This scenario would likely end in the selling of the franchise, although Frank could assumedly tie such a sale up indefinitely in appeals should he lose. Either way, the more time Dodgers management has to spend worrying about divvying up finances the less time they will have to address the Dodgers pressing issues, not as a business, but as a baseball team. And right now eleven games back from the Padres in the NL West and once again out of playoff contention, that’s the help they really need to be focusing on.
–
Brett Phelps is a regular writer for The Golden Sombrero.

On Monday Aug. 9 Cincinnati Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips said he hated the St. Louis Cardinals and called them “little bitches.” The following day the two teams had a benches clearing brawl. When the series was over the Cards left Cincy with a three-game sweep and a one-game lead in the division. Many people, including myself (and not just because I’m a Cardinals fan), thought the fight and sweep would propel the team. Man did it ever.

The Cardinals are 5-11 in their last 16 games. The Reds are 12-4 over the same stretch. St. Louis lost series to the Cubs, Brewers, Pirates and Nationals whose combined record is 218-308. The one-game division lead they held on Aug. 11 has turned into a six-game deficit. No worries though. Just ask Tony La Russa and Albert Pujols who found time to hang with Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin over the weekend.

St. Louis has 33 games left and they’re only three games back of the Phillies for the wild card but the way they’re playing doesn’t suggest a playoff berth. They look like they’ve nearly packed it in and if they lose the series to the Astros (already down a game with two left) and then the weekend tilt with the Reds it’ll be time to look to next year.

This time of year most kids are trudging back to school, reluctantly returning to once again counting down the days until vacation. Baseball season is long over and the biggest drama they’re facing is upcoming homework, projects and book reports. But one lucky group of kids gets to hold onto summer holiday a bit longer than the rest. Those kids have dedicated the summer, and probably much of their young lives, to the dream of playing baseball on the biggest stage. Each won their respective city, state, and regional qualifying tournaments and earned the right to represent their hometown in the Little League World Series.

Wide eyed and full of ambition, every last week of August youngsters from around the globe descend upon South Williamsport, Pennsylvania for the only youth sporting spectacle that still captures the imagination of grown men. At that age every kid with a hat and glove thinks he can make it to the big leagues and they play with that spirit every pitch. We know the action we’re watching might not be Major League-sized, but the heart and excitement sure is.

This is also the time of year when most former MLB stars are perfecting either their pennant-chase commentary or their backswing. Shoot a Rogaine commercial here, a charity golf round there. Life is good, and at least publicly, problems are at a minimum. But some legends just don’t quit, they have to keep fighting because it’s all they know. They have battled all their lives and just because they’re no longer doing it in a uniform doesn’t mean they’ve surrendered. Such is the case of Roger Clemens.

On Monday the Rocket will be a world away from his Roger Clemens Foundation charity golf tournaments and silent auctions, facing a federal arraignment on charges of perjury, making false statements and obstruction of Congress involving his use of performance-enhancing drugs. This is one jam his seven-time Cy Young-winning arm won’t be able to get him out of. The evidence against him is substantial: his name was listed on the infamous Mitchell Report and former strength coach Brian McNamee and old buddy Andy Pettite have both testified under oath to his use of the juice, despite Clemens’ and his attorney’s steadfast denials. Clemens has approached this entire situation the same way he faced ornery batters, with smoking chin music and a Texas-sized “fuck you.” He first attacked McNamee; calling him “a troubled and unreliable witness” while filing defamation litigation against him, then his agent released an 18,000-word memorandum statistically justifying Clemens’ superhuman post-prime performance. If the guy would brush back his own kid after hitting a spring training bomb off his pops, why wouldn’t he come out swinging against Congress? It makes you wonder if he’ll be getting his traditional bull snortin’ rubdown before his arraignment Monday.

All this suit-wearing obnoxiousness has Clemens now labeled a villain even though the same swagger was vaunted when his pinstripes came with a “21” attached. It would seem that something as pure and innocent as the Little League World Series could not be further across the hardball universe from Roger Clemens’ tainted attainments. Let us not forget though, that the Little League World Series is not without its own controversies. In 2001 the “Baby Bombers” were led by oversized and over-aged hurler Danny Almonte, whose illegality eventually led to the expunging of his team’s third place finish. Of course, this was not discovered until after the conclusion of the tournament, after being given the key to the city, after being honored by Roger Clemens and his Yankees before a Bronx home game. Similarly, Clemens’ indiscretions were not officially revealed until long after the Cy Young trophies, the World Series rings and the All-Century recognition had all been adorned. And that’s not even the darkest stain on the Little League World Series’ past. That standard was set by 1992 would-be champion Zamboana City of the Philippines, who after trouncing the competition and returning home as heroes were exposed for various age and location ineligibilities.

It’s easy to paint these two scenarios as everything right and wrong with baseball, starring the Little Leaguers as grass-stained cherubs and Clemens as the pitchfork wielding demon, fiery testicles and all. If only it were that simple. But everyone knows some crazy Little League parent using the organization to ruin their child’s life and it is indisputable that Clemens was a complete badass on the mound. His desire not only to win but to utterly humiliate anyone with the gall to challenge him is something any red-blooded competitor can admire. Those kids in South Williamsport could learn a lot about determination and playing to win from the Rocket, even if he is making an ass out of himself while the 12-year-olds get glorified on national broadcast television.
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Brett Phelps is a regular writer for The Golden Sombrero who splits most of his time between the Land of Enchantment and the Biggest Little City in the World and contributes weekly to You Been Blinded. Known in other circles as Slo-Mo and Captain Buck Nasty, he is a wandering gypsy and amateur conspiracy theorist. He likes skiing, getting thrown out of sporting events, and long walks on the beach. He hates being in handcuffs, as this is usually a sign he will spend the night in jail. Any questions, comments, concerns, love or hate mail can be sent to him at brettsta04@yahoo.com